"A poor yet wise lad is better than an old and foolish king who no longer knows how to receive instruction."
Ecclesiastes 4:13
As another birthday draws near and I pray that God will spare my life to see it, I often spend my time looking back at the events of time. Aging for me is like a clock that never stops ticking. You wake up one day and you look at yourself and you say, "what's going on here?". You dig deep into your thoughts, wondering what you have achieved?. It gets sad when you realize that with all your achievements there are so many things you want to do, but will God grant you more time. The bible always teaches that with age comes wisdom, and you sit alone in the dark sometimes pondering over all the mistakes you have made. "Have I gained wisdom Lord?". That question streams like live video before your eyes.
Aging is a complex process in my mortal head. I'm not like ordinary people I guess. At times I worry more about others than myself, some may say this is admirable, but in my estimation, you must also look out for you as well. I've found that lately I struggle with the fear of losing my parents one day. They are getting older and it frightens me to think that they will be gone one day. Now let's be practical now, I can go before my parents, my life is just a mist remember that, but I no doubt worry.
There are times when even my wife gets annoyed at me, when she is saying something to me and I block out, thinking, pondering about this life. As I age I recognize that the things I thought were so bad, were actually better than I could imagine. I thought a flogging from my Mom/Dad was cruelty, but I now appreciate their love for me. Nowadays, these so called 'modern day parents' constantly miss the mark, by thinking that punishment with an object is wrong. And trust me I am not advocating abuse, but seriously I believe that if there is no punishment for misbehavior in terms of a child, then that child never learns that there is a consequence for their actions. And we wonder these days why our prisons are so full, hmmm, think on that for a sec.
Lately the aches and pains have begun, signalling that age is catching up. It may also mean that I need to do more exercise, but I have been lazy lately. That is one of the problems of living in a cold climate like Canada, you find it hard to drag yourself from your house into the cold and then to the gym. Remember you have to layer yourself, then remove all that layer, its painful. I am the captain of my soccer team, and even soccer is getting harder for me. I still have the same intensity, but the legs don't move as fast anymore.
Aging has brought some wisdom, but the innocence I had as a child has been lost. Daily I search and pray for that innocence to return. Being exposed to so much has corrupted my mind, but I continue to ask God to cleanse me daily. I am his child and being his child requires me to think like a child in terms of purity and love. Aging will never end, but the time I have now is priceless in making my life a model for others to follow.
